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No Superbowl, Let's Play Bic​-​Bac! (Part 5)

from Wet Already by David And The PS3 Games

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lyrics

KIMBALL
Let's see...
(He flips through his notebook)
That you were with-

BATEMAN
Well, I could he wrong.

KIMBALL
Well...When was the last time you were with Paul Owen?

BATEMAN
(Clearly nervous and under pressure)
We had...gone to a new musical called...Oh Africa, Brave Africa. It
was...a laugh riot...and that's about it. I think we had dinner
at Orso's. No, Petaluma. No, Orso's. The...last time I
physically saw him was...at an automated teller. I can't
remember which...just one that was near, um, Nell's.

Kimball is clearly giving up on Bateman for now. He opens
his briefcase to put away his notebook.

KIMBALL
Well, thank you, Mr. Bateman.

BATEMAN
Patrick, please. I hope I've been informative. Long
day-a bit scattered.

KIMBALL
Listen, I'm a little spent for now but how about lunch
in a week or so when I've sorted out all this information?

BATEMAN
Great, yes, I'd like that.

KIMBALL
And if you could try and pin down where you were
the night of Owen's disappearance, it would make my job a
lot easier.

BATEMAN
Absolutely. I'm with you on that one.

Kimball is rifling through his briefcase. He pulls out a
new shrink wrapped CD and holds it up.

KIMBALL
Huey Lewis and the News. Great stuff. Heard it? I
just bought it on my way here.

Bateman stares at the CD - stunned, terrified.

BATEMAN
Never. I mean...I don't really like...
singers.

KIMBALL
Not a big music fan, eh?

BATEMAN
No, I like music. Just-they're-Huey's too...
black sounding. For me.

KIMBALL
Well, to each his own. So-lunch, Thursday? I'll
call your secretary about reservations.

BATEMAN
I'll be there.

EXT. MEAT PACKING DISTRICT/INT. LIMOUSINE - NIGHT

The same street corner where Bateman found Christie before.
The limo is kept idling as he talks to her through a
half-opened window.

CHRISTIE
I'm not so sure about this. I had to go to Emergency after
last time...

BATEMAN
Oh this won't be anything like last time, I promise.

CHRISTIE
I don't think so.

He hands her a $500 bill.

BATEMAN
Just come in the limo and talk to me for a minute.

The driver's here, you'll be safe.

Christie gets in hesitantly.

BATEMAN
Nothing like last time, promise.

CHRISTIE
Alright.

He pours her a shot of vodka and makes her drink it.

BATEMAN
(Chatting as if they were at a cocktail party)
So, you're looking great, how have you been?

CHRISTIE
(A little confused)
Well, I actually might need a little surgery after last time.

BATEMAN
(Mock shock)
Really?

CHRISTIE
My friend told me I should maybe even get a
lawyer.

BATEMAN
Oh, lawyers are so complicated-don't do that. Here.

He writes her a check for $I ,000 to cash and hands it to
her. She snatches the check out of his hand and gets
quickly out of the limo, walking hurriedly down the street.

BATEMAN
Bitch.

He follows alongside her slowly in the limo, waving a huge
wad of cash at her. She hesitates; he uses the money to
lure her into the car. As she reluctantly gets into the
limo, she reaches for the money.

He snatches it away.

BATEMAN
Uh uh uh. Half now, half later.

She takes the money and puts it inside her shirt.

BATEMAN
Okay, your name is Christie. We're meeting a friend of mine,
Elizabeth. She'll be joining us in my new apartment shortly.
You'll like her. She's a very nice girl. Don't say anything
about yourself. Is that clear. Christie?

Christie nods.

INT. PAUL OWEN'S APARTMENT - NIGHT

The living room: ELIZABETH has kicked off her shoes and flopped
down on the couch underneath the Baselitz. Elizabeth is an
attractive, dark-haired society girl who models occasionally.
Christie is sitting on the couch opposite her, pretending to
examine a CD.

ELIZABETH
You look really familiar. Did you you go to Dalton?

Christie shakes her head.

The kitchen: Bateman is grinding up tabs of Ecstasy and
putting them in a bottle of wine. In the living room, Elizabeth
is still staring at Christie as if she came from Mars.

ELIZABETH
I think I met you at Au Bar, didn't I ? With Spicey?

Christie looks blank.

ELIZABETH
Well, maybe not with Spicey but it was definitely at Au Bar.

Christie still blank.

ELIZABETH
You know, Au Bar?

Christie shakes her head.

ELIZABETH
Anyway, Au Bar sucks now, it's terrible. I went to a birth
day party there for Malcolm Forbes. Oh my God, please.

Bateman enters carrying the bottle of wine and two glasses.
Christie, who seems frightened, sips her wine and stares at
the floor. There is an awkward silence.

CHRISTIE
This is nicer than your other apartment.

BATEMAN
(Offended that she prefers Owen's apartment)
It's not that nice.

Silence.

CHRISTIE
Where did you two meet?

ELIZABETH
Oh God! I met him at, oh God, the Kentucky Derby in '86-no,
'87, and...
(Turning to Patrick)
You were hanging out with that bimbo Allison Poole.
(Sarcastically)
Hot number.

BATEMAN
What do you mean, she was a hot number.

ELIZABETH
If you had an American Express card she'd give you a blowjob.
(To Christie)
Listen, this girl worked in a tanning salon, need
I say more?...What do you do?

A long silence. Christie reddens and stares at the floor.

BATEMAN
She's my...cousin.

ELIZABETH
(Skeptically)
Uh huh?

BATEMAN
She's from...France.

A pause. Elizabeth looks at Bateman dubiously.

ELIZABETH
Where's your phone? I've got to call Harley.

Bateman hands her a cordless phone. She dials, and stares
At Christie while she waits for someone to answer.

ELIZABETH
Where do you summer? Southampton?

Christie looks at Bateman and then back at Elizabeth.

CHRISTIE
No.

ELIZABETH
(Listening to the receiver)
Oh God, it's his machine.

BATEMAN
Elizabeth, it's three in the morning.

ELIZABETH
He's a goddamn drug dealer! These are his peak hours.

BATEMAN
Don't tell him you're here.

ELIZABETH
Why would I?

Bateman has poured her another glass of wine. She downs the
whole glass, making a face.

ELIZABETH
This tastes weird.
(She examines the label and shrugs)
Harley? It's me. I need your services. Translate that anyway
you'd like. I'm at-

BATEMAN
(Whispering)
You're at Paul Owen s.

ELIZABETH
Who?

BATEMAN
(Whispering)
Paul Owen.

ELIZABETH
I want the number, idiot.
(She waves him away and continues into the reciever)
Anyway, I'm at Paul Norman's and I'll try you later and if I
don't see you at Canal Bar tomorrow night I'm going to sic my
hairdresser on you.

She hangs up.

ELIZABETH
Did you know that guy who disappeared? Didn't he work at Pierce
& Pierce, too? Was he a friend of yours?

BATEMAN
No.

ELIZABETH
Do you have any coke? Or Halcyon? I'd take a Halcyon.

Bateman sits next to Elizabeth on the couch and pours her
another glass of the drugged wine.

BATEMAN
Listen, I would just like to see...the two of you...get it on.
What's wrong with that? It's totally disease-free.

ELIZABETH
(Laughing)
Patrick, you re a lunatic.

BATEMAN
Come on. Don't you find Christie attractive?

ELIZABETH
Let's not get lewd.
(Flirty)
I'm in no mood to have a lewd conversation.

BATEMAN
Come on. I think it would be a turn-on.

ELIZABETH
(To Christie)
Does he do this all the time?

Christie shrugs.

BATEMAN
Christie, you're not drinking your wine.

Christie looks at her wine and gingerly takes a sip.

BATEMAN
(To Elizabeth)
Are you telling me you've never gotten it on with a girl?

ELIZABETH
No! I'm not a lesbian. Why do you think I'd be into that?

BATEMAN
Well, you went to Sarah Lawrence for one thing.

ELIZABETH
Those are Sarah Lawrence guys, Patrick. You're making me
feel weird.

LATER:

Elizabeth is now writhing around on the couch and making
out with Christie. Bateman holds up a Whitney Houston CD,
showing them the picture of Whitney on the cover.

BATEMAN
Did you know that Whitney Houston's debut LP
called simply Whitney Houston had four number-one singles
on it? Did you know that, Christie? Whitney's voice leaps
across so many boundaries and is so versatile-though she's
mainly a jazz singer-that it's hard to take in the album
on a first listening.

ELIZABETH
You actually listen to Whitney Houston? You
actually have a Whitney Houston CD? More than one?

She giggles, rolling off the sofa onto the floor.

BATEMAN
(Ignoring her)
It's hard to choose a favorite track
among so many great ones, but "The Greatest Love of All"
is one of the best, most powerful songs ever written about
self-preservation and dignity. It's universal message
crosses all boundaries, and instills one with the hope
that it's not too late to better ourselves. to act kinder.
Since, Elizabeth, it's impossible in the world we live in
to empathize with others, we can always empathize with
ourselves.

As he speaks, he opens the case and carefully places the CD
in the player, admiring its pristine silver surface, and
watches it slide into the machine.

BATEMAN
It's an important message, crucial, really, and it's
beautifully stated on the album.

INT. BEDROOM - LATER

AN OUT-OF-FOCUS HOME VIDEO SHOT of Elizabeth, Christie and
Bateman in the throes of sex, in the master bedroom.

CUT BACK TO WIDE SHOT of the bedroom, partially blocked by
the video camera in the foreground. Their bodies are an
incoherent tangle of arms and legs. The only sounds are
moans, heavy breathing and the slapping of flesh against
flesh. CLOSE ON Christie's head and shoulders. Her eyes are
shut as she grimly concentrates on giving a good professional
performance, turning her head every so often to check the
progress of her partners.

OFFSCREEN WE HEAR Elizabeth panting in genuine pleasure,
moaning loudly. Her voice gets louder and louder and then
shifts to actual pain.

Bateman rises up off the bed, suddenly appearing behind
Christie. There is blood on his face.

Christie turns her head and sees him. She screams and leaps
off the bed, running out of the room. She slams the
mirrored door behind her, and as it swings shut for a split
second we see Elizabeth writhing in pain on the bed.

We follow Christie out of the room, panicking, screaming.

Christie runs down a darkened hallway, frantically opening
doors, looking for an escape.

She hears the SOUND OF A CHAINSAW coming from the bedroom.

She opens a closet. The closet lights up as she opens the
door and sees two dead, women hanging inside. She screams,
then claps a hand over her mouth. She stops and listens. THE
DISTANT SOUND OF THE CHAINSAW.

She backs away slowly, into another dark room, lit only by
the light from a television set. Through the darkness she
sees a head on the top of the TV and starts to whimper.

She runs toward the nearest door. Finding herself in the
main hallway, she begins to jog toward the front door, then
runs.

Bateman appears from nowhere, holding the chainsaw,
spattered with blood.

Christie screams and changes direction. Bateman leaps at
her, bellowing.

They run through the bedroom and into the bathroom.
Christie trips over Elizabeth's body, which is half in the
bathtub.

Both are slipping on the floor, which is slick with blood.

Christie falls, tries to get up. Bateman grabs her leg. He
tries to bite it.

She kicks him in the face and gets up, running toward the
front door.

He runs after her.

BATEMAN
Not the face, you bitch. Not the fucking face, you
piece of bitch trash!

Christie, screaming, makes it out the front door.

Bateman runs after her.

She runs down the hall screaming and banging on doors.

She moves to the elevator, pounding hysterically on the
buttons. She sees the stairwell and runs for it.

Bateman sees this and runs after her, revving the chainsaw.

She runs down the stairs, Bateman two flights behind her.
He stops, leans over the railing to look at her, then aims
the chainsaw at her and drops it.

Christie SCREAMS OFFSCREEN, then is suddenly silent.

FROM BATEMAN'S POV we see Christie's body sprawled facedown
at the bottom of the stairwell. The chainsaw sticks out of
her back like a sword.

INT. CRAYONS - EARLY EVENING

An insanely expensive restaurant with a childhood motif: paper
tablecloths and jars of crayons for drawing, lots of primary
colors, and a goldfish bowl on each table.

Bateman is at a table with Evelyn. They are both drawing on
the tablecloth. Bateman is drawing Christie with the
chainsaw in her back.

EVELYN
I want a firm commitment.

BATEMAN
I think, Evelyn, that we've...lost touch.

Evelyn waves to a couple across the room.

EVELYN
(Distracted)
Why? What's wrong?

BATEMAN
(Speaking very carefully, measuring each word)
My need to engage in homicidal behavior on a massive scale
cannot be, um, corrected, but I have no other way to fulfill
my needs.

The woman across the room holds up her hand, displaying a
new bracelet. Evelyn smiles and nods approvingly.

BATEMAN
We need to talk.

EVELYN
Talk about what, Patrick? What is there to talk
about?

BATEMAN
It's over, Evelyn. It's all over

EVELYN
(Motioning to the waiter for water)
Touchy, touchy. I'm sorry I brought the wedding up. Let's just
avoid the issue, alright? Now, are we having coffee?

BATEMAN
I'm fucking serious. It's fucking over. Us. This
is no joke. I don't think we should see each other anymore.

EVELYN
But your friends are my friends. My friends are your
friends. I don't think it would work.
(Reaching over to dab his face with a napkin)
You have a little something on your upper lip.

BATEMAN
(Brushing her hand away)
I know that your friends are my friends. I've thought about
that. You can have them.

Evelyn stares at him, suspicious and bewildered, a
realization dawning.

EVELYN
You're really serious, aren't you?

BATEMAN
Yes, I am.

EVELYN
But what about the past? Our past?

BATEMAN
We never really shared one.

EVELYN
You're inhuman.

BATEMAN
I'm...in touch with humanity. Evelyn, I'm sorry.
(He pauses, as if searching for the right words)
You're just not terribly important to me.

Evelyn begins to cry.

EVELYN
No, no, no.

BATEMAN
I know my behavior is...erratic sometimes.

She reaches desperately across the table and takes his
hand. Bateman pulls his hand away.

EVELYN
(Sobbing)
What do you want me to do, what is it you want?

The occupants of nearby tables begin to stare. Bateman is
becoming increasingly agitated and embarrassed.

BATEMAN
(Looking uncomfortably around the room)
If you really want to do something for me, you can stop making
this scene right now.

EVELYN
Oh God, I can't believe this.

BATEMAN
I'm leaving now. I've assessed the situation and I'm going.

Evelyn makes an effort to compose herself. She blots the
tears so they will not affect her make-up.

EVELYN
(Surprisingly calm)
Where are you going?

BATEMAN
I'm just leaving.

EVELYN
But where?

BATEMAN
I have to return some videotapes.

He rushes out of the room.

EXT. TRIBECA STREET - EVENING

Bateman wanders into misty Tribeca streets, sees a stray cat.

BATEMAN
Here kitty, kitty.

The small mangy cat rubs against him. He picks it up and
walks toward an ATM, holding the cat. He puts his card in
the machine. The screen reads: FEED ME A STRAY CAT.
Bateman begins to attempt to shove the kitten into the
deposit slot with some difficulty. The kitten squeals. He
takes a gun from out of his pocket and points it at the
kitten. He doesn't notice the woman waiting behind him.

WOMAN
Oh my God! Stop that! What are you doing?

Bateman wheels around and shoots her. She falls screaming
to the floor.

Responding to the gunshot, A POLICE CAR SIREN WAILS in the
distance. Bateman breaks into a run. The police car
screeches after him.

COP CAR (O.S.)
HALT STOP. PUT DOWN YOUR WEAPON.

Bateman ducks down an alley.

EXT. ALLEY - NIGHT

A COP rushes toward him, seemingly from
out of nowhere, and tackles him, trying to get the gun away
from him.

Bateman manages to shoot the cop in the face while both of
them have their hands on the gun, then shoots him again. He
reloads the gun. The sound of more COP CARS arriving.

He runs out of the alley.

EXT. STREET - NIGHT

As he reaches the street, he finds A PHALANX OF POLICE CARS
approaching.

COP CAR
Halt. Put down your weapon.

The cops leap out and fire a warning shot in the air.
Bateman shoots at them. The police return fire.

Bateman ducks down behind a parked car and continues
shooting wildly. A bullet hits the gas tank of one of the
police cars. It catches fire and explodes. The flames light
up the scene, illuminating the bodies of policemen both living
and dead.

NEW ANGLE: Bateman flees from the scene. The camera follows
him as he runs along a row of Porsches, trying to open each
one, setting off a cacophony of CAR ALARMS.
THE SOUND OF POLICE SIRENS draws near.

NEW ANGLE: He runs, panting, until he ends up in front of a
tail, brilliantly lit office building. As he approaches,
the lights in the building are going off floor by floor.

INT. OFFICE BUILDING - NIGHT

He rushes into the lobby, running for the elevator.

NIGHT WATCHMAN
Burning the midnight oil, Mr. Smith? You
forgot to sign in.

Bateman wheels around and shoots him. He runs toward the
revolving doors. As he swings around in the doors, he
notices a JANITOR who has witnessed the shooting. He
revolves back into the lobby and shoots the janitor.

NEW ANGLE:

He runs out of the building and across the
street to an identical office building, the one that houses
Pierce & Pierce.

INT. PIERCE & PIERCE LOBBY - NIGHT

Bateman nods at the Pierce & Pierce NIGHT WATCHMAN and signs
in. He breathes a sigh of relief as the elevator doors close
behind him.

INT. BATEMAN'S OFFICE - NIGHT

Bateman stands looking out
through the floor-length windows at a panoramic night view
of the city and the river.

Below him he sees a SWAT TEAM swarming over the roof of the
opposite building. There are ambulances standing by, flares
everywhere, distant sirens.

Suddenly, THE SOUND OF A HELICOPTER draws near. Frightened,
he drops to the floor behind his desk.

Helicopter searchlights scan the building, illuminating
Bateman's office for a few moments with a blaze of light.

He is crouched in one corner, half-sobbing, talking into
the phone, as the searchlight keeps circling.

BATEMAN
Harold, it's Bateman. Patrick Bateman. You're my
lawyer so I think you should know-I've killed a lot of
people. Some escort girls, in an apartment uptown, some
homeless people, maybe five or ten, an NYU girl I met in
Central Park. I left her in a parking lot, near Dunkin'
Donuts. I killed Bethany, my old girlfriend, with a nail
gun. and a man, some old faggot with a dog. Last week I
killed another girl with a chainsaw-I had to, she almost
got away There was someone else there, maybe a model, I
can't remember but she's dead too. And Paul Owen. I killed
Paul Owen with an ax, in the face. His body is dissolving
in a bathtub in Hell's Kitchen. I don't want to leave anything
out here...I guess I've killed 20 people, maybe 40-I have tapes
of a lot of it. Some of the girls have seen the tapes, I even...
well, I ate some of their brains and I tried to cook a little.
Tonight I just, well, I had to kill a lot of people and I'm not
sure I 'm going to get away with it this time-I mean I guess
I'm a pretty sick guy. So-if you get hack tomorrow, I may show
up at Harry's Bar, so, you know, keep your eyes open.

Bateman hangs up the phone. The helicopter searchlight
circles back, briefly illuminating the room. The camera rises
up over Bateman huddled in the corner, staring blankly at the
sky.

INT. SMITH AND WOLLENSKY RESTAURANT - DAY

KIMBALL and Bateman are sitting at a corner table.

KIMBALL
(Very surprised)
No hash browns?

BATEMAN
Not in the mood, I guess.

KIMBALL
But...everyone orders the hash browns here. I
mean- it's-have you been here before?

BATEMAN
(Deliberately nonchalant)
Yes, of course. The hash browns are delicious. I'm just...not...
ordering them.

KIMBALL
(Looking at him like he's nuts)
Suit yourself, I guess.

Pause.

KIMBALL
So, the night he disappeared? Any new thoughts on
what you did?

BATEMAN
I'm not really sure. I had a shower...and some
sorbet?

KIMBALL
I think maybe you've got your dates mixed up.

BATEMAN
But how? Where do you place Paul that night?

KIMBALL
According to his date book, and this was verified by his
secretary, he had dinner with...Marcus Halberstam.

BATEMAN
And?

KIMBALL
I've questioned him.

BATEMAN
Marcus?

KIMBALL
Yes. And he denies it. Though at first he couldn't
be sure.

BATEMAN
But Marcus denied it?

KIMBALL
Yes.

BATEMAN
Well, does Marcus have an alibi?

KIMBALL
Yes.

A pause.

BATEMAN
He does? You're sure?

KIMBALL
(smiling)
I checked it out. It's clean.

BATEMAN
Oh.
KIMBALL Now where were you?
(He laughs)

BATEMAN
(Laughing with him)
Where was Marcus?

KIMBALL
He wasn't with Paul
Owen.

BATEMAN
So who was he with?

KIMBALL
He was at Atlantis with Craig McDermott, Frederick Dibble,
Harry Newman, George Butner and –
(He pauses, Then looks up)
- you.

A moment of stunned silence.

BATEMAN
Oh, right. Of course...We had wanted Paul Owen
to come. But he said he had plans...I guess I had dinner
with Victoria...the following night.

KIMBALL
Personally I think the guy went a little nutso. Split town for
a while. Maybe he did go to London. Sightseeing. Drinking.
Whatever. Anyway, I'm pretty sure he'll turn up sooner or
later.
(A pause)
I mean, to think that one of his friends
killed him, for no reason whatsoever would be too
ridiculous. Isn't that right, Patrick?

McDermott stops by the table.

McDERMOTT
KIMBALL! How's the investigation?
Talking to Bateman? Don't believe a word he says.
(Laughs uproariously slapping him on the back)
Bateman, what's wrong with ,you?

Bateman looks at him in silence,
panicking.

McDERMOTT
You can't eat at Smith and Wollensky
without ordering the hash browns. Jesus, Bateman, you're a
raving maniac. Been at Pierce & Pierce too long.
(He wanders off muttering)
No fucking hash browns...

INT. PAUL OWEN'S APARTMENT BUILDING - DAY

Bateman walks into the lobby of Paul Owen's building. He
has a surgical mask in one hand.

DOORMAN
What can I do for you, sir?

BATEMAN
20B.

DOORMAN
Of course. Mrs. Wolfe is up there right now.

BATEMAN
Mrs. Wolfe?

DOORMAN
The real estate agent? You do have an appointment,
don't you?

Bateman steps out of the elevator and walks cautiously down
the hallway. Owen's door is open. The apartment is freshly
painted and has been immaculately redecorated in English
country-house style: overstuffed sofas, lots of chintz. There
are flowers everywhere, and a YOUNG YUPPIE COUPLE stands
admiring the place talkingto the realtor, MRS. WOLFE. Bateman
wanders down the hallway, looking for familiar signs. He stops
at the closet where we last saw two dead girls hanging. He
opens the door and the light switches on, but it is empty. Mrs.
Wolfe approaches, smiling.

MRS. WOLFE
Are you my two o'clock?

BATEMAN
No.

Mrs. Wolfe eyes him strangely, then looks down at the
surgical mash clutched in his hand. Her expression changes.

MRS. WOLFE
Can I help you?

BATEMAN
I'm looking for...Paul Owen's...place.

She stares at him impassively.

BATEMAN
Doesn't he live here?

MRS. WOLFE
No, he doesn't.

BATEMAN
Are you sure?

MRS. WOLFE
You saw the ad in the Times?

BATEMAN
No. Yes. I mean yes, I did. In the Times. But...
doesn't Paul Owen still live here?

MRS. WOLFE
There was no ad in the Times.

Bateman is shaking as they continue to stare at each other.

MRS. WOLFE
I think you should go now.

BATEMAN
But I think...I want to know what happened
here.

MRS. WOLFE
Don't make any trouble. Please. I suggest you go.

Bateman backs away slowly.

MRS. WOLFE
Don't come back.

BATEMAN
I won't...don't worry.

Mrs. Wolfe glares at him as he walks down the hall,
rattled, and gets into the elevator.

EXT. DEPARTMENT STORE - DAY

Bateman enters the revolving
door of an office building, panicking and breathing
heavily. He is sweating, his hair is wild, and he looks
deranged. He goes around the revolving door twice and comes
out onto the street again, where he bumps smack into a GUY
just like him.

GUY
Hey, Kinsley.

Bateman looks up at him wild-eyed.

GUY
See you at Fluties, okay?

The guy walks away, utterly unfazed. Bateman wanders down
the street, banging his briefcase against walls, garbage
cans, etc.

EXT. MIDTOWN PHONE BOOTH - DAY

Bateman searches his pockets
for pills. He finds three different pills and swallows
them. He's sweating, and takes his jacket off to wipe his
face, dialing a number.

JEAN (O.S.)
Patrick Bateman's office.

BATEMAN
Jean? Hello? Jean?

JEAN (O.S.)
Patrick? Is that you?

BATEMAN
Hello? Jean, I need help!

JEAN (O.S.)
Where are you?

BATEMAN
Jean-I'm not-

JEAN (O.S.)
Craig McDermott called. He wants to meet you and
David Van Patten and Tim Price at Harry's for drinks.

BATEMAN
Oh God, what did you say, you dumb bitch?

JEAN (O.S.)
Patrick? I can't hear you.

BATEMAN
What are I doing?

JEAN (O.S.)
Where are you? Patrick, what's wrong?

BATEMAN
I don't think I'm gonna make it, Jean.

Pause.

BATEMAN
...to the office this afternoon.

JEAN (O.S.)
Why?

BATEMAN
(Screaming)
Just...say...no!

JEAN (O.S.)
What is it, Patrick? Are you alright?

BATEMAN
Stop sounding so Fucking sad! Jesus!

He hangs up. He throws the Walkman which is around his neck
into a nearby trash can, and wipes his face with his
jacket.

INT. BATEMAN'S OFFICE- SAME DAY

Jean sits at Bateman's desk. She looks around, and then opens
his desk drawer and tentatively begins to search through it.

INT. HARRY'S BAR - EVENING

Bateman comes into the bar, a little cleaned up from the
previous scene (he's smoothed his hair), but still panicking
and disheveled. He spots his friends in a corner, sits down,
still breathing heavily.

Price is on his cell-phone, trying to get reservations.

McDERMOTT
Bateman, you're looking a little wild-eyed rough
day at the office?

They all laugh.

McDERMOTT
Hey, look-Price is back. And he's drinking
Perrier. He s a changed man. Except...he still can't
get a reservation to save his life.

Bateman sits down silently.

McDERMOTT
Why don't you try I 50 Wooster? Just fucking call them.

BATEMAN
(On automatic)
I'm not going anywhere unless we
have a reservation.

VAN PATTEN Le Cirque, Flamingo East, Oyster Bar, come on,
faggots-just get a res.

PRICE
Keep your shirt on. Maybe lose the suspenders.

Bateman spots HAROLD CARNES at the bar, tenses.

BATEMAN
(He downs his drink)
Excuse me, gentlemen. Right back.
He approaches Carnes cautiously.

CARNES
Face it-the Japanese will own most of this country by the
end of the '90s.

Bateman approaches, trying to act casual.

BATEMAN
Shut up, Carnes, they will not.

Carnes is surprised, turns around, looks vaguely confused.

BATEMAN
So, Harold, did you get my message?

Carnes lights a cigarette, stalling. Then laughs.

CARNES
Jesus, Davis. Yes. That was hilarious. That was you,
wasn't it?

BATEMAN
(Waving smoke out of his face)
Yes, naturally.

CARNES
Bateman killing Owen and the escort girls? Oh that s
fabulous. That's rich...

Pause

CARNES
It was a pretty long message, wasn't it?

BATEMAN
What exactly do you mean?

CARNES
The message you left.

Carnes is distracted, waving at people.

CARNES
By the way Davis, how is Cynthia? You're still
seeing her, right?

BATEMAN
But wait, Harold, what do you mean?

Carnes isn't really listening.

CARNES
Excuse me. Nothing. Good to see you. Is that Edward Towers?

He turns to go.

BATEMAN
Carnes? Wait.

CARNES
(Sighing)
Davis. I'm not one to bad-mouth anyone, your joke was amusing.
But come on, man, you had one fatal flaw: Bateman's such a dork,
such a boring, spineless lightweight, that I couldn't fully
appreciate it. I wasn't fooled for a second. Now, if you'd said
Price, or McDermott...Otherwise, it was amusing. Now, let's
have lunch or dinner or something. Hilarious, Davis. A killer.

BATEMAN
What are you talking about? Bateman is what?

CARNES
Oh Christ. He can barely pick up an escort girl, let
alone...what was it you said he did to her?

Carnes looks around the club, raises his glass to a passing
couple. He laughs politely.

CARNES
Now, if you'll excuse me, I really must...

BATEMAN
(Desperate, shouting)
Wait. Stop. You don't seem to understand. You're not really
comprehending any of this. I killed him. I did it, Carnes.
I'm Patrick Bateman. I chopped Owen's fucking head off.
I tortured dozens of girls. The whole message I left on your
machine was true.

CARNES
Excuse me. I really must he going.

BATEMAN
No! Listen, don't you know who I am? I'm not Davis, I'm
Patrick Bateman! I talk to you on the phone all the time!
Don't you recognize me? You're my lawyer.

Carnes stares at him in confusion and annoyance.

BATEMAN
Now, Carnes, listen to me. Listen very, very carefully. I killed
Paul Owen and I liked it. I can't make myself any clearer

CARNES
But that's simply not possible. And I don't find
this funny anymore.

BATEMAN
It never was supposed to he! Why isn't it possible?

CARNES
(Eyeing Bateman worriedly)
It's just not.

BATEMAN
Why not, you stupid bastard?

Carnes stares at him.

CARNES
Because I had dinner with Paul Owen twice in
London...just ten days ago.

BATEMAN
No, you...didn't?

CARNES
Now, if you'll excuse me.

Bateman returns back to his friends' table, in a daze.
They are all looking at the television, where Ronald
Reagan is giving a speech about Iran Contra. They are
halfheartedly arguing about whether or not he's
lying.

PRICE
How can he lie like that? How can he pull that shit?

VAN PATTEN
What shit? Now where do we have reservations at?
I mean I'm not really hungry, but I would like to have
reservations somewhere.

PRICE
(To Bateman)
I don't believe it. He looks so...normal. He seems so...
out of it. So...undangerous.

McDERMOTT
He is totally harmless you geek. Was totally harmless.
Just like you are totally harmless. But he did do all that
shit and you have failed lo get us into I 50, so, you know,
what can I say?

PRICE
I just don't see how someone, anyone, can appear that
way and yet be involved in such total shit. How can you be so
fucking, I don't know, cool about it?

VAN PATTEN
Some guys are just born cool, I guess.

Bateman laughs at this. Price shoots him a look.

PRICE
And Bateman, what are YOU SO fucking zany about?

BATEMAN
I'm just a happy camper. Rockin' and a-rollin'.
VAN PATTEN
(To Price) Rehab's done wonders for you, pal.
Working for UNICEF now?

McDERMOTT
Do you want another Perrier Timothy? Some seltzer water?

PRICE
Oh brother look-he presents himself as a harmless
Old codger. But inside...

Pause.

PRICE
But inside...

The SOUNDS OF THE BAR FADE AWAY and we hear Bateman's thoughts:

BATEMAN (V.O.)
But inside doesn't matter...

THE SOUNDS OF THE BAR RETURN.

McDERMOTT
(Bored)
Inside? Yes, inside? Believe it or not, Price we're actually
listening to you.

PRICE
Bateman? Come on, what do you think?

Bateman looks up and smiles at Price. Then shrugs.

BATEMAN
Whatever.

The conversation breaks up as Van Patten takes out his phone.

VAN PATTEN
Whose moronic idea was it to drink dry beers? I need a Scotch.

The sounds of the bar fade down. The following voiceover runs
over images of Bateman and his friends ordering drinks, talking
on portable phones, talking, laughing - combined with images of
other very similar young men at other tables drinking, talking
on portable phones, talking, laughing,

BATEMAN (V.O.)
There are no more barriers to cross. All I have in common with
the uncontrollable and the insane, the vicious and the evil,
all the mayhem I have caused and my utter indifference toward
it, I have now surpassed...

INT. BATEMAN'S OFFICE - DAY

Jean is alone in Bateman's office, looking through his diary.
We see the pages that she is looking at. They are filled with
doodles of mutilated women and their names...Jean looks lost
and frightened, and begins to cry.

BATEMAN (V.O.)
My pain is constant and sharp and I do not hope for a better
world for anyone. I fact I want my pain to be inflicted on
others. I want no escape.

INT. HARRY'S BAR - EARLY EVENING
As the film ends the camera moves CLOSE on Bateman. He is
leaning back in his leather armchair, drinking a double Scotch,
his eyes blank.

BATEMAN (V.O.)
But even after admitting this, there is no catharsis. I gain no
deeper knowledge about myself, no new knowledge can be extracted
from my telling. There has been no reason for me to tell you any
of this. This confession has meant nothing...

The camera moves up to a sign on the wall behind him:
"THIS IS NOT AN EXIT."

CREDITS ROLL

credits

from Wet Already, released February 3, 2013

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